- **Please read my words below And ALSO the article I attached.**
Grief isn’t linear with some magical boxes to check off and then one day your “better”. Whoever wrote the “5 stages of Grief” is a liar. The stages are there, but you can enter any stage at any given time. You don’t go from one stage to the next and the next like some perfect ladder that once at the top you are done grieving. Grieving never ends. Ever. At least not when you’ve had a child pass away.
Grief is messy. So freaking messy and it can come crashing back with little to no notice at any time, leaving you broken and shattered all over again. And again. And again.
We aren’t “stuck”. We don’t need to “seek therapy” unless we deem it best for us or we are no longer able to function with simple daily tasks. Don’t tell us to “move on” either. There is no moving on. Only moving forward and learning how to deal with and manage our daily pain.
We are simply missing someone we love beyond measure. I’ll never not miss our son, Turner. I think of him every second of the day. I’m his mother. We, as his parents, gave him life and I carried his beautiful little body and soul for 9 beautiful months. He is my son just as my other children are my children. Just because he isn’t here doesn’t make that fact any less than just that. He isn’t my “angel”. He is just my son. My baby boy.
Please understand that I didn’t chose to have my son pass away. I thought, planned and prepared to have a lifetime of love and memories here on this earth with him. Turner not physically being here never entered my mind. I’m still trying to process how this all happened and cope with my new reality.
Learning how to live without a piece of my heart and soul is going to take a very long time. Don’t place people who are grieving into a “grief box” and once you deem them “fixed and happy” then begin to now want to be in their life. Sit with us. Hear our hearts. Mourn with us. Some of the most beautiful souls I have met are grieving mothers.
Don’t let our grief and sorrow scare you or cause you to push us away. If anything, learn from us and our loved one who we miss. One day everyone will walk this lonely path of grief and have to figure out life again since death with eventually touch each of us.
This post is much longer than I intended, but my heart is heavy lately. Hug and keep your children close. Appreciate them as they are the most precious gifts you have ever been given. Be grateful they are here in your arms. I love each of you and am grateful to everyone for your love and support for our family. Im especially grateful to the people who let me know they are thinking of me and those who speak Turners name. Much love always.
I found this article and I hope you read it: